You're Gone
by criminally charmed
Summary: Gordon reflects on the events in Joining the Boys Club and how he was affected, especially the death of his girlfriend. Uses song You're Gone by Diamond Rio. Short, sweet and kinda sad. Oneshot.


You're Gone

By Criminally Charmed

Gordon Tracy sat by the pool outside of the family villa. Lisa – blond, blue-eyed, sassy Lisa – was gone. A week ago, the Thunderbirds had responded to a plane crash in the Rockies. He had known Lisa was flying that day, but thousand of planes flew around the world every day. If the thought had crossed his mind, he had pushed it back.

Lisa had been flying for work and she worked for Tracy Enterprises. Jeff looked at Gordon like he expected his son to blame him somehow for his girlfriend's death. But Lisa was just one of thousands of Tracy employees, Jeff had barely known who she was. And what he knew was more from having seen her at Kate and Scott's wedding. Gordon smiled at the memory of the first time he had seen her, the first time he had fallen in love...

_**I said, hello, I think I'm broken  
And though I was only joking  
It took me by surprise when you agreed  
I was trying to be clever  
For the life of me I never  
Would have guessed how far the simple truth would lead  
You knew all my lines  
You knew all my tricks  
You knew how to heal that pain  
No medicine can fix  
**_  
Alan, Kate, Scott and Jeff had gone to New York. The trial of Jackson Mitchell, the former employee of Tracy Enterprises who had kidnapped Alan last Christmas was finally happening. Although Virgil, John and Gordon had all been there, they hadn't really "seen" as much as the others. So while their statements were on file, their testimony wasn't needed.

Poor Alan had been majorly stressed this last week. Their father had been trying to persuade the courts that Alan, a minor, shouldn't have to relive what had happened. But the judge wouldn't listen and the kid was going through his ordeal all over again. As upset as Alan had been, Gordon thought he was relieved that he wouldn't be there for his little brother's testimony.

The only good thing about Alan having to go through this was it had given Gordon something to focus on other than his own pain. Alan was Gordon's only little brother and best friend. Trying to get him over this latest emotional hurdle had helped pull Gordon out of his depression – most of the time.

Feeling a hand on his shoulder, Gordon looked up from where he had been sitting on the couch, watching the sun set over Tracy Island. His other blond brother, John, was still down from his usual post of Thunderbird Five, their space station. Giving the currently oldest Tracy on the island a week smile, Gordon joked "Not how you imagined your five weeks on Earth, hey Blondie? Emotionally bolstering your little brothers?"

John smiled and sat next to Gordon. "Can't think of any place I'd rather be."

Together they watched the sun fade into the horizon.

_**And I bless the day I met you  
And I thank God that He let you  
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on  
And the good news is I'm better  
For the time we spent together  
And the bad news is you're gone**_

Oh, God. This wasn't happening. Dad had just called them, practically in tears. Alan had been shot. That monster Jackson Mitchell had begun screaming at his lawyer to "break" Alan. When a bailiff had gone to remove Mitchell from the courtroom, he had overpowered the man, stolen his gun and grabbed Alan, using the boy as a hostage. Helpless, Jeff and Scott had been unable to do anything as Alan was once again threatened by that SOB.

Kate had come prepared. Who would have thought that his sister-in-law had maintained a concealed carry permit? That she was also armed? But she was an ex-FBI agent, so they shouldn't have been shocked. This time when Kate had shot Mitchell, the man did not survive his trip to the hospital. But a misfire by a NYPD officer had struck Alan in the head. While it had not seemed severe at the time, the teenager still hadn't awakened. The doctors feared he might have swelling in his brain or some other permanent damage.

Please God, you let me have Lisa for only a little while, and now she is gone. Gordon sat in his father's study, oblivious to a weeping Tin-Tin, a morose Virgil or an angry John. The red-haired Tracy continued his prayer; I found the highs that being in love could give me, and then it was gone. I would not have stayed sane without Alan's quiet support. He meant so much to each Tracy. To Dad, Alan was the strongest link, the most physical image of their mother; for Scott, being strong for Alan was what got him through the worst times of his life; John looked the most like Alan, but Alan was the freedom and wildness that the astronomer never allowed himself and it was with the boy's joy of life that John often let himself soar; Virgil saw Alan as a source of inspiration – with that much life and love, how could he not create?; and Alan was Gordon's twin, his partner in crime, his best friend and shadow. If they lost his little brother, it will destroy the family. Losing Lisa had been horrible, to lose Alan, the family would be devastated beyond belief.

_**Looking back it's still surprising  
I was sinking you were rising  
With a look you caught me in mid-air  
Now I know God has His reasons  
But sometimes it's hard to see them  
When I awake and find that you're not there  
You found hope in hopeless  
You made crazy sane  
You became the missing link  
That helped me break my chains**_

Alan was going to be fine. The relief that met that news had swept over the Tracy family like water rushing to shore. Gordon now stood in Edward Eppes', Kate's cousin, Malibu beach house. Debating sports – which sport seemed to ebb and flow – took up their time until he heard Alan say loudly, "So Kate, when are you and Scott going to tell everyone about the baby." The smug look on Alan's face that he had basically announced that the first grandbaby of both fathers was imminent was priceless. The housewarming party had become a celebration of life itself. Edward's father had narrowly avoided death in an accident at the Cal-Sci campus (saved by the Thunderbirds, thank you very much), Alan had survived a second attack by his abductor (who wasn't going to hurt anyone again, thank you Kate) and big brother Scott, the ultimate mother hen was going to be a daddy (once again, thank you Kate). Life was going on, and it was full of promise. Just as Jeff and John concluded – correctly, if he read his self-satisfied eldest brother – just when or where baby Tracy had been conceived… Well, Dad had no one to blame but himself. He had chosen to send Kate up with Scott. Did he honestly think nothing would happen?

Watching the wave's crash to shore, Gordon tried to rejoin his family, extended as it was now, but found that he needed the solitude.

"We didn't chase you out did we?" Gordon didn't turned, didn't smile, didn't acknowledge his sister in law. "Kate, I am happy for you, I am happy for all of the family. But it will take time to bring me back to where I was before. I see the two of you, planning your future family, seeing Alan just planning his future with Tin-Tin, reminds me of what I loss. Lisa and I will never have any of that, I'm sorry. I don't want to take it away anything from you and Scott."

Kate smiled, "The only thing you could do to take this away from us, is not be with us. Listen copper-top" Gordon smiled weakly at his old nickname, "the only way you could take anything away from us is to not be there. We know you cared for, loved, Lisa. Don't ever forget about her. And someday you will remember her with joy and warmth but there may be someone who comes along in the future; so just as long as that amazing heart of yours keeps as open as it has always been."

With that Kate smiled and kissed her brother-in-law on the cheek. As she stood back up, they both turned at Alan's voice. "Katie, Gordy – time to feed the baby and the hollow-leg." Gordon smiled as Kate laughed. Although Gordon had not laughed since Lisa's death, he could now smile. Yes, his love, his Lisa, was gone. He wouldn't forget her. But his other love – his family – needed him. Alan would need his support and Scott – big brother was going to be a Daddy. Oh, and he needed to tease John about the next generation of Thunderbirds being conceived on Thunderbird Five. Maybe something should be added to the supply run…

As much as what he was planning would annoy his family, they also would have been happy. Gordon was planning a prank.

_**And I bless the day I met you  
And I thank God that He let you  
Lay beside me for a moment that lives on  
And the good news is I'm better  
For the time we spent together  
And the bad news is you're gone  
The bad news is you're gone**_


End file.
